MISC. COMMENTS: Dissing Dialup

OK, so I'm a dinosaur holdout, still clinging to dialup internet service. But not for lack of desire to upgrade to something faster.

Believe it or not, our phone lines three miles out of town can't get DSL - even though the neighbors at the corner entrance to our subdivision can. Oh, but not the folks across the street from them. No, that would be too simple. Something about the fiber-optics cable only stretching so far...

Cable TV services promises even faster speed - but at higher prices. What's a miserly cheapskate to do? Bite the bullet and empty my wallet, or suck it up and continue waiting TWO HOURS for a 19-meg download? My nifty sort-of-new laptop has wireless capability, but I either have to hang out at a snooty coffee shop in town to get internet access with it, or try to piggyback via my yuppy neighbors across the street who can't mow their lawn, but do have wireless cable internet service! (How would I know they have wireless? Well ... my nifty laptop took it upon itself to hop on their network one night, and I enjoyed the speediest access to the world-wide web this side of town - until they shut their computer down for the night.)

Curses! Now that I know what I'm missing, dialup is intolerable!

ARGH!!!

(Pirate lingo doesn't help the situation, but does make me feel a bit like a rogue! That's the best I can hope for until service prices and availability meet my expectations.)